He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
