How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
