I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
