i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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