You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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