I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
