Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
