Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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