I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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