Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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