Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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