I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
