so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So many bounce houses so little time
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
