I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
