i think my tv is drunk
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
