What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
