Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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