ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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