she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
