Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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