I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
