you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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