As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
