R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
