no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
