508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
