I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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