Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
