you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
