I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
