Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
