Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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