Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
