if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
