look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the day after is always just damage control
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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