oh god the rape fog is back!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize