Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
