I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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