Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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