I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
