i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
