hotel room ftw
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize