these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
