that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
