i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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