Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
