one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
