whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
