There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
