I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
