need another drink. this is the easiest way
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
