And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We left an ass print on the piano.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize