She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
