so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
