If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
