Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize