We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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