you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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