i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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